life is good

oh man. why is today not over yet? i don’t get it. we got here later than ever today (only by 15 min, but every little bit counts..), i actually had work to do for the better part of today, i took double the usual amount of time to go get lunch, and i ate really late in the day…

if my estimates are correct, and clearly they’re not, it should’ve been 5pm like 20 hours ago.  
thank goodness it’s friday.

1. A modified muscular pouch behind the stomach in the alimentary canal of birds, having a thick lining and often containing ingested grit that aids in the breakdown of seeds before digestion.
2. A similar digestive organ found in certain invertebrates, such as the earthworm.

gicrium

gigria

yk^w

hellllo again,

so i covered the story today and it was all in arabic. this has happened before, and luckily i found a guy who was willing to translate it for me. i had to give out amanda’s number to 3 different lebanese guys, but i got the story. and i called ahead and set up an interview with the UNDP project manager, since it’s usually a safe bet that the UN reps or the ministers speak english, and he gave me really good information.

but now i have to write it. and format, etc. the pictures. by the deadline. which is fine. this time i have plenty of time. but i find myself taking an online quiz about being burned out at work..

the cheese/lamb-slaughtering story made front page. and page 2. i thought it would be page 12 b/c it’s a feature, but they ended up choosing 2 pics and putting it in the front. which is nice. if they put it front page and it’s not that important of a story it usually means that there was a photo that they wanted to print in color. hence the kite festival making front page. hooraaay.

alright well i guess i’m gonna go do my job. i guess. last week.

 so. i guess it’s relatively early. i fell asleep around 8pm, so i guess i’m done for the night. why not ramble.

i think in a little bit i’ll look up frequent flier miles to istanbul. not b/c i have a strong enough desire or much justifaction for going to visit istanbul, but because…i’m just curious, if ending up in lebanon for a little while could happen. this doens’t mean that if it’s possible that i’m gonna try to go…just that it’d be interesting to see…if maybe there is a way.

there so isn’t. anyway.

i’m out of nyc at least until my next interview next week. and i’m so happy to be getting away. hazardous. i love nyc though.

i hate not living anywhere. on the one hand, it’s nice to know i have so many friends who are willing to put me up here and there. on the other hand, everything’s scattered and i don’t live anywhere and it stresses me out. i want to leave my toothbrush in the bathroom. dirty laundry in a basket. etc etc wah wah wah.

i charge my phone in restaurants, i use NYPL for internet access and borders to relax and do some reading, i use sephora to fix my face-situation in the morning, and other than that i walk and wander. and it’s not bad at all. i also haven’t started real work yet. and won’t until next week.

i like it. it’s resourceful. capable. and only a little bit disheveled. i’m gonna go. i really wanted sleep. sleep makes everything soo very much better. and i’d like to have an early day tomorrow. we’ll see how this one goes..

i wish i were back in haiti. i’m going to china in a few weeks. holy moly.   

i don’t know what’s going on. what’s changed in the past 5 days that i’ve gone from where i was to where i am.

i do know that despite the amazing amounts of work i have due tomorrow and throughout the week, that i couldn’t have taken any more ‘weekend’.

i just would very much like to run away from most things right now. even the things i love or genuinely enjoy.

anyway. anyway.

i’m useless. i do nothing. oh wait no - i take care of drunk ppl all freaking night all all freaking night. until 5am. which happened to be 6am on this particular occasion. dst, you tricky bastard. and then i get woken up every hour starting at 8am b/c they want to know where their purse is and where they left their wallet and how they ended up getting home and what happened to their friends and where did they puke and why does is smell and LEAVE ME ALONE.

there’s more. but i just wanted to vent that out of my system.

really though, if i had to choose just one person to get the hell out of my life right now, it wouldn’t be anyone whose puke i cleaned up, hair i held back, purse i brought home, or body i dragged down the hallway and into a bed. etc.

me and T were the only sober ones surrounded by six half-naked, puking, falling, hooded-eyed, passed out suitemates. quite an evening.

and in case anyone’s wondering about how much sleep is in my life right now, we’re going on about 2.5 hours for the weekend. that’s more time than i spent being productive though, so maybe i shouldn’t be whining.

LEAVE ME ALONE. stop text-messaging me. and when i don’t answer that. at 4am. don’t call. and if i don’t pick up. at 4AM. don’t come over. just stop.

interference. don’t talk to me. you aren’t listening to me. you don’t get to talk to me. you don’t get another chance to be an asshole. all you are is interference. stupid interference. you act like you know exactly what to do at all times. like you know what’s best and what’s going on. and then it turns out you know nothing. you say things, you act like you know what everyone should do, but you know nothing. you’re just interference. and you’re just as lost as everybody else.  

life-suckers. need to get out of my life.

the phone is off, the door is locked, and you are done. GOODNIGHT.

mkay. the sun is up. so am i. the difference there is that in a few hours i will be swimming a mini-marathon and the sun will not.

on the up side, one wall of my room is all window and the sun rise is gorgeous. also on the upside, the roomate didn’t come home yet so i got to blast the heat on full power all night. so lovely.

idk what to do. grab a powerbar and do some hw b/f the swim? see if that’s the decision, as soon as i get to the library w/ my books and my bar, then i’ll crash. but then if i decided to lay down and try to sleep again, it’ll just be more laying til the alarms start going off.

i feel like writing on the computer isn’t the best choice right now either way, but there’s no one awake or around anymore. why? oh because everyone else has the ability to SLEEP.

the more i have to do, the more i feel like whining, the more time i seem to find for ‘blogging’.

it’s 4am. i went to bed at 10pm. i’m exhausted. and look like i died 5 months ago. i also think, spell, add, etc. like i died 5 months ago. i’m really sick, and on ‘night time’ medecine, and around 11pm i threw in a tylenol pm just for good measure. but still no sleep. i never sleep.  ever.

i can’t be this sick and this tired right now. finals and work and everything important right now is happening very rapidly in the next few weeks. i need super healthy and super productive. not this. i took 2000% of the daily recommended value for vitamin c… but nothing yet.

my honors class makes me feel like i’ve wandered blindly into an intelligent conversation and am just frozen there. i’m just as smart as these kids i promise. and i have such good intentions - productivity and studies and healthy balanced living..but the intentions dull to dust when faced with distraction. when more work than i do is required.

i like it too. i love learning and the assignments are usually great. the readings and the knowing..i genuinely enjoy it. at least 80% of it. but whether i enjoy it or not i do very little of it. jet lag from thailand had me on an amazing schedule. i have experienced life without sleep deprivation. and it’s good. it’s so much easier to be productive, nice to people, count to 20, etc.

sometimes i do work hard - i think they call it cramming. and i end up with a d+, oily dreaded hair, 2 impressively dark circles where my eyes once were, and the ability to hibernate - to sleep 20 hours out of every day, waking up only to eat, to show for it. i think they call that one crashing.

i need to start doing things right. this pattern of stressed and frantic followed by crashing and crazy is not the healthy way to do things. i eat and sleep in shifts - i study and stress for a week or two, and then i sleep and eat the next week. most people, it seems, can handle all 3 at once time: working, eating, and sleeping. they can usually even balance taking care of themselves in general, having a social life, and maybe a hobby or sport in there too. i used to be one of these people. now i go with one thing at a time…

ohhh lala. and i will live. i’ll probably even make it through the week.

and tomorrow i will be awake and panicking well before the sun crawls out from behind the corner wall of davis library.  i will study. i will swim. i will go pick up my c-, and i will move on to the next.

and i’ll like it. or i’ll take comfort in the fact that it is only 3 more weeks. and i can do anything for 3 weeks.