life is good

burnt out. at the same time so excited. 

studying? the books closed on thursday. not that i haven’t been busy busy and working learning. AHHHHH.

need a shower. need to pick out the dreads. grocery shop. put my car back. get a phone that works. spin. yoga. study for chinese midterm. find spring break plans. find $300 and a way to make sure ‘george’ gets some bad karma…’george’.  Need to read contagious capitalism. write an essay about it. by monday. see also: need to purchase the book. need to find a store that’s not sold out of it.

soo very very much to do. but really i need to sleep cause nothing gets done when i’m a wandering tired little brown crackhead. useless. sleepless.

wan an for now.

i want a dull moment. i came on the compute to blog a bit, catch in some dullness, and the distractions start up again. ppl see a light on and come in, ppl see the idleness leave from my screenname and they start im-ing. i hate im-ing. i want some dull.

i can’t complain. i had an amazing…end of the day. i have AMAZING tickets to the next few UNC basketball games. tonight was the first one, vs Georgia Tech, and we won. we sucked and were down by 20 points, and then we won.

my day, see also: every other day this week, - is non-stop. 7am to 10pm and no naps inbetween. it’s not that it’s bad non-stop, - sometimes it’s amazing non-stop. there’s never a dull moment. there’s ust exhaustion.

today we got in bagpipes and some basketball, clogging and some contra, turkish coffee, a chinese test, and almost 2 hours of completely conscious econ. that last one’s a stretch. my head did the nod and jerk thing a couple times, but i put in some REAL effort. last time i just gave in with 20 minutes to go and put my head down on the desk. once the head goes down it’s over and it doesn’t resurface until guy next to me hits me and tells me that it’s over.

i sit in the front row too. i can see better there, but mostly it’s so that i’ll feel obligated out of respect (not dignity - i’ll snore and drool in front of 30 other people without a second thought..), but out of respect for the professor who’s planned a lesson and who is presenting it 3 feet away from my snoring head. i love him too. but sometimes it just happens. narcoleptically. that’s right. narcoleptically.  

anyway, i had some classes, some culture, dancing and basketball, etc. - it’s not been a wasted day. just too full…most of them are. - my humble opinion. and i even skipped bellydancing tonight. i realize it’s possible that i have a tendency to plan too much for myself…and maybe the priorities at times should shift away from bellydancing and more towards studies and general health…but anyway. we’ll work on that one. maybe.

actually this reminds me: i have to skip something/ reschedule for tomorrow too, cause i have no memory and i promise to be at 3 things at 7pm. we’ll see how that one works out. for now i gotta get off this computer so that the distractions stop and think i’m asleep.

and now i’m just rambling. and now it’s 1am. and time to go.

bonne nuit.

He used to say soulshine,

It’s better than sunshine,

It’s better than moonshine,

Damn sure better than rain.

Internships? Studying Abroad? Getting a job? Community Service? School? - Spring Break? Summer? Fall Semester? Tomorrow?’

Tomorrow. I see my first real ballet tomorrow. Swan Lake. So excited. But also stressed, cause things like that (and superbowl chaos) suck your time and you’re left with piles of work and a new Grey’s Anatomy to choose between. Oh Sundays..  

The hibernation has been post-poned. I’m conducting instead my own form of hibernation. it’s…working…

I love languages. I wish I could just change my major to languages. and writing. and math. and some polisci and asian studies…  I’m having a hard enough time with Chinese this year though. it’s kicking my ass. Anyway.  

i love chess. and i just found people to play with. and by ‘play with’, i mean ‘kick my ass’. it’s great. i love games. and drawing. in the end it looks like someone gave a 3-year-old a crayon. but i feel expressed.

Haven’t talked to my friends in a while. months. E. and I have a phone-date set for tomorrow afternoon and we have hours of catching up to do. Days. All my NYers seem to be mildly falling apart.. i give it a month or two before things really start being better for them. but when they ask i say it’ll be a week tops. pobrecito.

Alright I’m off to go do some work (yes, on a Saturday night..). So much that I could say though. interesting things i promise - my professor wears an eye-patch and his sole comment on one girl’s 20-page paper was “Fuck you”, - I walked out of my class and there were llamas in the parking lot. I followed them until the older couple w/ them let me touch them and told me why there were llamas in the parking lot. it was for a ‘musical performance’. i asked if the llamas would be singing and no one found it even a little bit funny or even answered me. that was the end of my encounter with the llamas. but really - there are interesting things.- today i went to a new year’s celebration - i salsa dance and grocery shop - i’m working on buying my first nice business suit..    

All of these are good stories. and if they aren’t, I could make them into good stories.   

But sometimes it’s necessary to ramble and not worry about interesting. see also: coherent.  Recklessly dumping things out of your mind. I’m done now. Yesterday an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie made me cry. Done for real. Time for work. Wan an.