life is good

two years ago i would not have watched the draft. i wouldn’t have known when it was on or what it meant and i especially wouldn’t have watched people talk about the draft before watching the actual draft, guessing who would be 2nd or 3rd - and gotten anything out of it.

i don’t even love the sport - though i couldn’t say that out loud here. it’s the winning. i love the winning and the stories and the cheering and the bragging rights. sports are about money and pride. most people don’t even pretend they’re not anymore.

unless it’s a really good game. i watched the pistons spurs game and all of a sudden held such strong feelings for tim duncan. i went from knowing absolutely nothing to screaming at the tv in the sports bar. i ditched my friends and most of my dignity and stood screaming…at a tv. 

the ink on the side of the yogurt bottle gives it 7 more hours of edibility. i disagree.   

the bad news is that there’s no food here now. that yogurt bottle was my last hope. i don’t want to go out, i don’t want to pay for delivery, i don’t really even want to eat i just know it’s necessary for survival.

the good news is that i have bigger fish to fry. good news is that there’s more going on in my life than rotten yogurt. i just won’t ever write any of that down.

it’s a cb kind of day..

I was wrong and graceless and
sick. all the things I had learned had been wasted.
there was no living creature as foul as I
and all my poems were
false.

soo..i didn’t do too well with being nice. quite snappy at least for the first hour or so…buut c’est la vie.

so much to do. so useless. not a huge fan of second-best.

People call they say beware doll you’re bound to fall you thought they were all, kiddin you…

pissed. so angry. such a shitty shitty mood. and half the world is coming over in t-minus 5 minutes and i have to be nice..or at least not a flaming bitch. not possible.

i don’t have an opinion but i don’t like anyone else’s, today.

don’t like the reason i’m so angry; don’t like what i did about it, don’t like learning anymore - brain’s full, don’t like my headache or all the things i still need to take care of… don’t like whining don’t like whiners. nobody likes a whiner.  

especially don’t like that i have to plaster on a smile in a few.

on the up side i smell really good. also, there’s a paper cut-out of a dolphin on the ground next to me. life is good.

i think i need to go take vitamins. some calcium, some b6, a little ergocalciferol and i’ll be right as rain.  

yea the sun’s gonna rise in a while. in a while you’ll be feelin fine…

mmm…just woke up. stress week 05 part one begins. i could’ve avoided the stress. buuuut option #2 would have involved losing my job (being ‘replaced’) and this, this is nothing i can’t handle. with this week comes good things.

good thing #1: tomorrow i make money. that’s right, an income. today my classmate offered me 10$ to lick this bottle that, of all the bottles around was not the first one i would want to lick. but it was 10 dollars, and 1: i’m invincible, so chances it would kill me are low. and  2: after i got over the gagging i would be 10$ richer. but i hesitated. - an offer like this would usually seem better to me… 

the classmate was relieved at first, but when i explained the reasoning behind it he realized it was less a matter of cost benefit analysis, and more about income level. disappointment set in. we’re both economics majors. and dorks.

also, aside from the money, i’m really excited about this job. 1: because i can say “oh sorry i can’t say. i’m not supposed to reveal my identity” when people ask what i do. which really isn’t necessary, i could just say ‘i’m a waitress’ or ‘nothing’, etc. but line #1 makes the job sound a lot cooler than it really is. and 2: because all the money aside, and it pays quite well, i’m excited to get one step closer to being ms anderson. it’ll be about a month more training before that’s allowed, but still, this is a start.

and i really should go start some work of any kind. also, there’s green tea to be chugged. mmmmm…. 

cheers to incomes, teachers who let you take tests early, teachers who let you skip a couple classes without penalty (phys ed), and everything else making tomorrow stressful, yet possible.

wo xianzai hen e.  

zaijian.  

mkay, so there’s been some controversy over the term ‘Jew food’ used in the past post.

that was the term used by my extremely jewish suitemate who was giving me the food..

it has also been a lifelong goal of mine ever since the first bat mitvah i attended to be jewish. however, since this has not happened just yet, perhaps i can’t really pull off ‘Jew food’.

i think i might go add an ish.

what did i juuust do. 

regret encourages the impulsive behavior. mistakes, problems, - the threat of consequence in any form generally leads to impulsivity (it’s a word), or leaving the country. 

bought some plane tickets this morning. leaving the state for a few will be good i think. and for only 140$ it’s quite the bargain. leaving the country would be ideal, but in this state of broke and busy, i’d settle for jumping off the east coast into the atlantic. or ny. good people in ny this time of year. and holy man i miss the city. 

ahhhhhhhhh

but for now it’s time to focus on my studies. especially this week. this week will be stress. and then i’ll run away. then back and more studies. more stress. then more leaving the state. shower rinse repeat. and life is good. 

even right now.

 Íí°².

word is out. i have a blog. gotta admit, there was some cringing as i skimmed over the past couple months and remembered what i had posted…but i think i’ll make it.

huge test tomorrow. huge. only 20 more chinese tests until i go back to NY. hooray! 2 months. i can make it. but plans for what i do when i get there are still under construction. operation international scandal has been vetoed. E and i have had a lot of crazy schemes, and we’ve gotten away with -and lived through the vast majority of them…marvelous misadventures…but there comes a point where some sort of sensibility must be implemented, because otherwise we’ll just take over the world. someday.

sensibility. or just lack of funding. maybe some combination of the two.

wo shi yi ge hao xuesheng de zhongwen…keshi…wan an.